Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
