I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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