you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How external is "for external use only"?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize