Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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