i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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