he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
