did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
