You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
