there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
