Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I cockslap morals
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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