I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
