The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
