You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
