just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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