I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
