pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
