so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
