do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
