i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
