the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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