I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
