miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
