4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
