I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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