Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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