I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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