I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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