Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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