I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize