his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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