I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
