Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
