i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Boobs are out for the taking
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Randomize