There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
birth control should be required to get into college
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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