Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
