we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
