You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
