let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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