Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
