We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
