chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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