he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
