there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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