I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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