Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
