She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize