Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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