Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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