I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
