shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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