Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
