She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
