birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize