remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
