last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
