It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
