Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
