It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
