There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
