got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
